I'm going to jail i love you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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