Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
