if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Someone signed my nipple.
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