That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize