WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's the barista slut.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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