Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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