drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
