spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
