you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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