The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
