She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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