I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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