Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
MIDGETS
????
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
