and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
