I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
