You're completely useless in the revolution.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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