i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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