Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
