Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
