6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
