dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
