there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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