i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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