What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
