Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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