she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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