erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
