is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
