Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
