Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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