that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize