i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
