I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
