I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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