just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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