You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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