I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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