You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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