I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
