dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
