i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
