Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
