Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
