It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
what is it with giant penises always finding me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
