you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize