My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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