ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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