i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize