Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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