Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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