it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
