she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
