you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
