You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
