She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
