i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
