Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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