you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
