Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
