What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
