69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
