Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize