Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
